By Sister Paula Dukehart, SSND, for NewsLink
I was intrigued by the wording of Deb Litman’s invitation to contribute a reflection for this edition of NewsLink. I spent time pondering instances when I experienced a call, a sense of being asked to trust and dare, of needing to stop and consider an invitation to step out in faith.
After nearly 60 years as an SSND, I have countless examples, large and small. These calls have come from a variety of sources and imply different consequences.
They include experiences of “missioning” by the Provincial to community and ministry placements in my earliest years, participating in a shared process to explore ministry and educational possibilities, accompanying novices and temporary professed Sisters as council liaison with Initial Personal Development in Community (IPDIC), engaging in province assemblies of election, and responding to urgent needs.
It seems trusting and daring has become a way of life rather than an occasional experience.
I realize that I go through an inner process of seeking to clarify: Who is asking? Whose voice/s am I hearing? What spirit is stirring within me?
How am I when I sit in the presence of this spirit?
Often, I feel a type of disturbance that requires time and patience to arrive at a response. There is a lot of listening involved.
I need time, to quiet myself, to look and listen within and engage, first, in internal conversation.
I try to name my feelings and explore their origins. Is this about fear of failure, of resistance to change? Am I considering my response as though I need to have absolute certainty?
I pray for the grace to make a space large enough to explore more deeply what is being asked.
Can I recognize God in this experience? I realize again that I am on a journey. And, I am not alone.
I seek out, listen to and share with trusted friends, spiritual companions, those doing the calling or appointing or electing. What wisdom is at work in those who are calling?
At times like these, I often find that the words of scripture seem to be addressing the very crux of the questions with which I am wrestling.
This trust and dare journey requires courage, to slow down, take a long, loving look and listen, to avoid jumping to conclusions, to believe in what I cannot see.
It invites me to exercise deep faith. O God, I believe in you.
This is a journey on a path of humility, facing my frailty,insufficiency, shortcomings and downright failings. It invites me to hold onto high hope. O God, I trust in you.
This is a journey toward wisdom, abandoning unrealistic expectations, focusing again on God’s all-embracing love who desires to works in me through grace. O God, I love you.
Witnessing and accompanying others on this way reminds me to take time to refocus my gaze, reset my attention, and to listen deeply.
It is a gift to continue along this path, responding to the signs of the times, to the needs before us.
I find both challenge and strength in Mother Theresa’s words, “Follow the star which has arisen in you; it will certainly lead you to Jesus.” (Letter #2534)
